For centuries we have been fed the lie that the ultimate goal is to get married and have a family. “It’s the greatest success” some say.

If that is your reality, kudos to you.

But, while I do believe in marriages and having little people for whose life you are responsible for, let me just get this off my chest:-

A spouse is not a destination!

Don’t feel bad if you believed the lie and the timeline attached to it.

“Oh, girl you need a man.  That clock is ticking.”

“Dude, aren’t you like 35?…Are  you still not married… and no children?”

You see up until a few weeks ago I too based a part of my life on this.  (I just turned 29 and still no ‘husband material’ in view.)

Also, I’ve been single since dinosaurs walked the earth.

But this revelation, happened upon me and even shocked me when it rolled off my tongue during a conversation with my best friend.

I was telling her about my goals as I approach my 30th birthday and also a bucket list as it were that I want to complete by the time I reach 40 years old.

Then she asked, “So, where is the husband on the list?”

Without even thinking, I responded, “If I get married great! If not oh well. A man for me is not destination.”

I’m currently in preparation mode, incase God decides to bless me with a man.  However, if it doesn’t happen, “oh well!!”

Here’s my advice to those of you, who like me find yourself alone (not lonely) just without a significant other:

  • Don’t get caught in the hype of marriage.  It is not a need.
  • Enjoy your singleness and get to know yourself.
  • If you are to get married you will be, but please don’t hunt it like a predator. It’s unbecoming.
  •  Love yourself and don’t compare your life to that of others.
  • Pursue your goals and achieve them while being your best self!

If a spouse comes along then make him/her a part of your journey or start a new one together.  But above all, don’t limit yourself, don’t make a spouse your destination.

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  1. Keneice lawson Reply

    Hard thing for many people to accept. Enjoy singleness, yes!!!

  2. Kimberly CUMMINGS Reply

    I totally agree. Be in love with who you are and love your life. When someone comes along to share that life with you they will be happy to see they are only their to compliment the package you have created. And if that never happens you would have been happy with you.

  3. Christian Girl Reply

    I like this one enjoying your single life it makes tons of sense

  4. Very good points here.. as u right said, marriage isn’t for everyone.. Get to know yourself before you know others.. Overall, this is a very good article.. (y)

  5. Christopher L Smith(Snr) Reply

    This is a great publication and for those people who believe that they are complete with a significant other it is not so you are complete with you first the other is to compliment you…


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