Love has always eluded me or I love. I’ve always been that stalker watching from a distance, wanting to but never bold enough to give in to it.  Who does that?  Me. Someone not strong enough to be vulnerable; open, yet locked way. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved and I’ve loved hard but there was always this next level that I dreamed of but dared not enter.  It required me nude, exposed…to judgement and I was. But I’m scared…I’m petrified! Of what though? Rejection? Not being loved in return? Maybe I’m incapable of loving or unable to accept it being reciprocated. I remember in university I was totally captivated by a particular young man who was never shy in showing that he cared and wanted me.  I edged around it, never committed and even years later I ask myself the worse question in life, ‘what if?’  We remained friends…